Is it fate? 

Do you believe in fate, or more specifically that we meet people for a reason. I do, but oftentimes I am left wondering what the reason could be.

In reality there is no written rule that says all interactions must be good, but fate can be cruel sometimes, why would it intentionally pit us against someone who is going to cause nothing but harm.

I’ve been chatting with someone and he makes me feel. I can see no logical reason for why we would have happened across each other. We live very different lives and in fact in different countries but somehow fate brought us together, because we just happened to be in the same place at the same time.

He’s my person. Even though we’re just friends, right now he’s the one I want to give my time to. He makes me smile but he also makes me realise I am lonely. I needed a person. I need a person.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone, because no matter how hard I try I cannot love myself. If they loved me more than  life itself I probably wouldn’t believe it. I’d push them away with my insecurities.

I want to change. I want to believe that I am capable of being loved, even as  a friend, because I don’t want to lose my person. He’s pretty amazing!

I wonder if this is what being temporarily happy feels like.

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